night #1

I returned to her ICU room after a quiet walk and a few phone calls to find her to be resting somewhat uncomfortable as her seemingly high off and on fever was up again.  The nurses had placed her on an "ice mattress" pad thingy that was ran by a portable, what looked to me to be like a portable ice/air conditioning machine that was placed at the foot of her bed.  It was a rather odd contraption and kept her cool, to see her, she was freezing, shaking and shivering to the point she was not able to control herself.  I thought this was drastic measure for a fever that was inconsistent, so I went out to ask the nurse what was going on.  I/we were fortunate to have the same ICU nurse during the day to keep us well informed and sane, I can not speak as well for the night staff.  This, my first night here, I was fortunate and the nurse explained to me that she has a rise in her fever, her core body was high and they needed to bring it down before it caused permanent internal damage.  I remember thinking 'permanent organ damage' "what the hell is going on here, she has asthma and is having difficulty breathing" she misses her newborn son and is hungry!!

I think I dosed for what seemed to be 10 minutes but turned out it was a whopping 2 hours.  I reached over to her and grabbed her hand and it was ice cold, I got up and looked at her and she was trying so hard to be brave but started to cry and whispered to me "I want to go home, I don't want to do this anymore, turn this off please"  I assured her she is fine and I was not going to leave her.  I tried to get her to eat some soup which she declined, her request was for some ice chips which to me was an odd combo, but I was more than happy to give her what she wanted. 
I rubbed her head and put her to sleep as I dosed at her bedside along with the harmony of the machines which are never in sync with one another and the nurses have sensor alarms on the beds so when you slip into a good "eye nap", they barge right in!

The nurses let me stay in her ICU room for morning shift change as we had such a rough night and they wanted her to rest up.  They did bare minimum with her and left us be for a few hours.  My folks came up when they got up, they relieved me so I could call my girl's to wish them a good day at school and assure them I would see them here, this afternoon, when they got out of school.  I called my middle sister and gave her the "non" update, as we knew nothing more than we did last night, I told her about the ice mattress/machine and that I would call her this evening when I was able to speak to the doctor.  She was worried and wanted to rush down, I reassured her I didn't think that would be necessary at this point, I would call her this afternoon with a Dr. update.

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