A writer I will be...

I am going to write a book so David will be able to have, in my words, an explanation of his existence.

I dread the day I have to explain to him how I am his birth Aunt, yet he calls me "momma" .. how his birth cousin's he now calls "sissy" and "ca-ca"!!
Bare with me, this is a very personal and extremely emotional ordeal for me.

I will publish a page a day/or so...If I get brave enough I will attempt to produce the entire bitter-sweet tragedy as I like to refer to it!

Hope this, as always, finds you smiling and don't forget, your 'daily' random act of kindness.

Till next entry, have a beautiful day!

I'm just saying...

I wonder why .. When I see something wrong, no one else can see it?

I wonder why .. People think that yelling at you makes you respond faster or more genuine?

I wonder why .. Fresh cut grass smells SO good!

I wonder why .. Blossoms make you sneeze but not the "bumble bees"?

I wonder why .. a bumble bees kiss stings?

I wonder why .. Life is SO short?

I wonder why .. at times it seems as if time is standing still, at others it flies by!

I wonder why .. finding time for yourself is SO hard?

I wonder why .. punishing a child hurts you worse than it does the child!

I wonder why .. a good ole' "nap" cures all, can we research and patented that?

I wonder why .. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, does that mean that to everyone else your ugly?

I wonder why .. little eyes and ears see & hear things we don't or can't or plain ole' refuse too..Ohh to be young again!

I wonder why .. music is god for the soul..

I wonder why .. some forgive and some forget, but never both!

I wonder why .. people think I want to hear the music while I'm sitting tight inside my home, with my doors/windows closed as they drive by..

I wonder why .. I wonder WHY!!

this day ..

today is an absolutely beautiful day!

woke up to the sweetest little face pressed up against mine and a smile that can never be described to give it justice!

it was as earlier than I would have wished but would not have been more blessed at that very moment!

we ate breakfast together, went outside to start the water in the yard and then we took a walk, the streets were quiet and no one was out and about, it was as if we were the only ones awake and it felt amazing!

I did stop and smell the flowers, I enjoyed the sights of bird's singing & bathing in the fresh mist that lay on the fresh watered grass they had chosen!

It amazes me how you can feel SO incomplete in some portion's of your life and some things are out of your control yet completely affect and disable you when they are not right!!

THEN you have a day like this one given to me this morning, and you have to smile and say..

"it will all be o.k." YOU have to have that faith, it is there, use it!!

PERSONAL HAPPINESS

is first and foremost!!

Cleanliness is a fresh/soft Q-tip when your right out of the shower..

Contentment is your bed after a long stressful day..MY bed is "super dellish"..

Strength is your ability to look past the weakness..

Relax{ing} is when you do nothing because you have nothing to do..

Accomplishment is when you {can} smile at the end of the day because you believe you made good choices..

the rules...

are supposed to be simple, basic and not hard to follow...

Boundaries are just that, put in place so you can have a clear understanding of what is acceptable.

Rules are basic bits of information that are in place so the whole world does not fall to it's own demise.

Honesty is something that you are able to give to someone, put in place if you will only as you are comfortable within yourself to admit, acknowledge and accept what the issue at hand may be.

Communication is a `must` in everyday life, EVERYone has it in them, it is up to them how, when and IF they choose to use it. It is truly sad when someone chooses to NOT to use this vice as it could be the best thing that ever happened to them.

Shutting down, not understanding or even being able to acknowledge things that happen in your life will only destroy you and prevent you from becoming the person you truly are inside.

Is it possible that a person can want something SO BADLY that it over shadows the very environment that your said "dream" is being provided?

Happiness at someone else's expense is still settling and should not even be a concept. I truly still believe there is someone out there who has every ability/attribute I am willing to settle for!

for now, I will continue my search..wish me luck!

last night...

the rain soaked the ground, the hail was forceful, the lightening lit the sky and the thunder roared making it's presence known! Are you afraid of nature or do you admire it?

there was extreme violence, someone was threatened, someone lost their life and a few left fighting for theirs! Do you think you could be related to one of them?

there was a elderly female who required assistance as she thought someone had broken into her home, she was scared and had locked herself in her bathroom until help could arrive! is this your Mother/Grand/Great Grandmother?

there was a demand from all who seems to reach out for help that was overwhelming! Why do some have the patience to endure this day in and day out?

there was question of what more this night could bring...this is all that happened when you were sleeping last night, so please say your prayers when you go to bed each and every night and know there are angels who are on duty to protect you and your family!

I drove home in silence, it was the sweetest sound I heard all night..They sky was dark gray, almost black in some places, the clouds broken apart w/a hue of a full shiny moon peeking through.

what most people take for granted, some live on a daily basis!

who is he?

he is the strongest man I will ever know...
he is the one whom I will love forever...
he is the only one I will `always` want to please...
he is the one who can make me weep at his greeting...
he is the one who's words mean the most...
he is the one who's lessons are spoken and mistakes are heeded...
he is the one I long to be like...
he is the one I can go to for ANYthing, this I learned the hard way...
he is the one I saw cry for the first time in my entire life, nearly 3 years ago and that is the day I truly knew who HE was!

My dad is a man of integrity, honesty, loyalty, sensitivity and most of all, LOVE! I never really knew my father, I knew of him and I knew he took care of his family and was a very, very hard worker...He cared for us always and was there to throw the ball and support me as I played his favorite sport, Baseball/Softball and not to forget to also give a firm hand when I needed it...

Life is defined by what you have learned through the years and what you have come to appreciate, THANK YOU DAD for being the man you are and NEVER faulting from that!
soooooooooooooo,
Don't thank me for what I have done or what I am doing because all it is is a reflection of YOU!

I luv you
Me