it's days like today.....

I just want to give up!!

It is obvious I do NOT have the patience I had when my girl's were toddlers.
The fact is he is a boy, a boy with special needs & special circumstances, a boy whom I took on without question or reserve,  boy that is totally and completely dependant on me.

from constantly explaining his 'history', making decisions for him, choices he can't make has become something I'm still not used to, it seems every time there is another decision to be made it gets more and more intense..

I get tired, tired of fighting, tired of compromising, tired of explaining over and over what needs to be done, what is going to happen, so tired I want to yell, DON'T YOU LISTEN, DON'T YOU KNOW BY NOW?!?!?! the answer is.... NO, he does not!!
He can not hear me most of the time because he is deaf in one ear...He does not understand things in simple terms with all the procedures he has had, all the hospitalization he has been subjected to, he has anxiety and anger issues that need to be dealt with love, care and compassion, the only thing he DOES know and can count on from me when he needs it most~ I know what he needs when he truly needs it.

~feeling a little frustrated & overwhelmed~

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