daily struggles.....

he used to fight it, now he asks for it..the `achine`..when he says "mama, I can't breath" and I tell him "I know baby boy, I know" when in actuality, I REALLY don't, I can't imagine what it is like to NOT be able to breath at any given moment!

he has struggled with being asthmatic from birth and is NO stranger to being admitted and treated in a hospital setting. his mother had also struggled with asthma all her life so with that experience I'm glad I have at least the knowledge of this horrible ailment.

I wish I would have had the energy to write when we were up at 0342 this a.m. as we sat on the couch administering his much needed treatment on the 'achine', he fell asleep in my arms and as the treatment was near end, he opened his eyes and said "listen mama, it is done now, can I go back to bed and you lay with me pwease?"  Yes baby, yes we can.

very few know our daily struggles, the watching, the listening, the medicine that can't be too far out of reach, the back pack that needs to be toted whenever & wherever we travel....his fear of "I don't have to/want to go back to the hospital anymore mama, k?"

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