breaking point

Today I would send my youngest back to school, my oldest daughter had school and then work, we had breakfast together and I headed back down to see my parents and then head back up north this afternoon for my 3pm date.  I tried to keep the girl's on their normal schedule, or what we thought was a normal schedule we had tried to maintain at this point in the game.

My sister had decided to stay another night so she was there when I arrived but was leaving today for sure, she would go home in time to come back in 2 or 3 days for the viewing and burial services.  We had what I called a 'lax' day today minus my trip to Merced, we stayed close to the house and enjoyed some well needed time with family and friends who were still plentiful and there was NO shortage of food.  We gathered at one point, the 4 of us on the patio in between hosting guests who kept popped in to talk about services and whether or not to have them public or private, this included the viewing as well.  NOW, this may seem like normal talk but was something that by the end of the conversation we were ALL in tears and nearly at odds with one another.  My sister and I were torn, my mom had no real opinion and my dad had made it perfectly clear it was family only and NO ONE else would be allowed to attend, not even some of our closest friends, our huge supporters, no one!  THIS is when the truce was called, we all decided that tomorrow would be a day where we would ALL take a day, we claimed it to be our 'check-out' day.  NO cell phones, NO contact with one another and NO having to talk or even think about ANYthing for 24 hours, this was what we all needed, that is a certainty!
My sister and her husband would be going to the beach, my dad had just purchased a Harley he had been saving for since his retirement a couple months prior, my mom and I had agreed to go pick out her plot first thing in the morning and then separate for the remainder of the day, she wanted to stay home and I was going to enjoy some "retail therapy!"  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh this was going to be goo goo goooood.

I spent a little more time with my sister before I took off up north and she left for home, I said good-bye to my parents and headed out.  I was really excited about my visit today and the fact I was going to dress him and be a little more hands on with David, this made me step a little lighter, I needed a little ease after today, the last few days, shoot the last 10 days if we are counting! 
I arrived for my date, and caught myself almost running inside, upstairs to be with my `new` man.  I knew the drill and had it down pat, checked in, changed and made my way to the far corner, this time it looked a little different, it was a little more lit and the islet was moved a further forward.  I approached it and the nurse said "he sure is stirring and moving today" I said "I'm sure he knows what time it is" she smiled big and said she would prepare the formula while I changed and dressed him.  He woke right up and was really moving about, I picked him up and he snuggled right in, I almost forgot we had to eat. It was a great day and was just what I needed! 
I stayed my 2  hour limit and left with the hopes that 3pm tomorrow would already be here.  

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