the set up

I woke up to an empty house, this was nothing unusual and something I had become quite used to, it was nice, it was a time I could have some coffee, sit on my middle stairs and `reflect` on whatever weighed heavy on my little brain. 
This day I planned on setting up the house for David, he would be joining me in my master bedroom as the girls shared the other bedroom in my 2 bedroom condo. My master was huge and I would be adding a crib, being delivered this morning by my cousin and her husband and the bassinet I would be bringing home from my parents tonight.  I had gone through the items that were at my mom's in the nursery and had a plan of what I would be taking to my house and leaving with my parents.  I had already taken a few items, little at a time, I did this as to not upset my mom even though she knew this is what was going to happen. 
I had set up a few things downstairs that were given to me last night including a swing and a bouncer chair, I found myself sitting, staring at them, wondering just what the future held for him, for me, for all of us, there was so much uncertainty I started to freak out a little, soooo I put my big girl panties on and began my day!

The crib was delivered and set up, I will go today after my feeding and get bedding and other little essentials, bury his mother, my little sister and then Sunday bring him home in time to fly across the United States on Tuesday "oh how is this all going to work?"  I was not wanting to go and my dad told me I WILL go if he has to pack a pair of panties and a bra in a wal-mart bag, I WAS going, so I guess that means I have to go, I guess it will be nice to get away but I will be hard to leave David after just bringing him home.

I got a phone call from my dad as I was getting ready to head up north for my date and he said there was a few things he needed to tie up with the mortuary and asked if I would meet him there, of course I agreed, told him I was on my way.  I arrived at the mortuary to see my dad out front, he looked so handsome it made me cry, he greeted me and we went inside.  I didn't really know what we/I was there for, he signed some papers and picked up a few items that were left at my sister's bedside from the hospital and my dad asked/volunteered me to speak/meet with the pastor on Friday before the family viewing to go over what would be said at the services on Saturday.  We left and as we got in our cars my dad asked if I would be coming by the house later and I said "sure on my way back I will come by for dinner and stay awhile" he shook his head and as I walked away and got in my car, he looked back, waved to me and mouthed "I love you", I waved back and pulled away crying halfway to my destination.  I was very worried about my dad, he was the strongest man I have ever known and I'd never seen him cry, he was a hard worker and was always there for us 3 girl's!

I got to the hospital, pulled myself together and went on up, I had the routine down pat now and today I was greeted with by the nurse saying "oh your in for it today, your a few minutes late and he's been letting us know!"  I paused and listened and she said "yeah, you hear that? that is David"  she said he woke up this morning and has been making noises all morning/afternoon and to my surprise he had pulled out his own tubing, she told me this was an amazing sign and that he would be ready to go home in a day or two, she was pleased with our bonding and at how well he was responding.
I walked over to the islet, changed him, dressed him and held him close, today I got to look him in the eyes as I fed him, he drank out of a normal bottle like it was nothing, I was SO proud of him and the nurse was short of amazed with his ability to do it and keep it down this very first time, good job my little man! 
I spent a full 2 hours with David today and then talked to the nurse and told her we would be all set-up and ready for him by Sunday, I told her we were having the viewing on Friday and then the services on Saturday, she was compassionate and said she would do the best she could but if he keeps up this progress then he may be released sooner.  I again thanked her for ALL that she has done for us as well as him and told her I would see her tomorrow.

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