I slept like crap last night, my mind did not slow down no matter how hard I had tried, it sucked. I woke up with a sleepy head and heavy heart yet I was so excited I could not stand still, so many emotions to deal with and today is the day my life changes for what I was not expecting to be the rest of my life!
I knew I would take him, I knew I would raise him, I knew I would experience some life changing events yet at the same time I did not know it would be forever.
I sent the girls off, my youngest was disappointed she could not come along, but assured her she would be coming down to my parents house this afternoon when she got out of school, my oldest already said they would drive down after school. I headed upstairs, I stopped mid way, I sat down and I cried, I held my face in my hands and I cried, good ole' fashion cry! I composed myself, I got ready, packed a bag and headed out the door. I had to stop by the bank and then I stopped by Starbucks for my fuel.
I got to my parents house mid-morning, there were few people there already and my dad met me at the gate and took me into the shop where he proceeded to ask me if I was ok, if I was prepared and that I would never know what this means to him or my mom, this task I am taking on when my girl's were growing/grown and I was a single mom and truly in my `prime`, I could not reply, I had tears I was fighting back, it is a "daddy" thing..to this day, my dad is the one who can do it for me, I hear his voice and it is over, a blubbering idiot!
My mom came out and said she was ready, we loaded the car seat in my car and we hit the road, I don't recall to much of the conversation other than we were excited to have David home even if it was less than perfect timing but what really has been through this whole thing?!?! We arrived at the hospital, I had called David's Dr's office and made sure he was going to be ok since we got a call yesterday and got confirmation that my sister had past from Valley Fever, unknown how she contracted it but had been fighting it for upwards of 2 years even unannounced to her and it was very likely he was exposed while in the womb but should be ok with the level of exposure but the Dr said he would consult with his fellow physician's and call us back if there was a concern. He was born a month early and they described her pregnancy as literally "sucking the life out of her", she was frail and thin to begin with so they assured us she would have not survived, what an assurance THAT was.
We were required to stay in the NICU for 45 minutes with David strapped in the car seat and hooked up to monitors o make sure he would be ok on the ride home, his oxygen levels and breathing, OH, his breathing was FINE, he whaled the whole 45 minute and I was praying to god this was NOT an indication of what the car ride home was going to entail. We signed our paperwork, the floor nurses came by to say farewell as my mom and I and the head nurse who had David this whole week hugged and cried, she wanted again to make sure us we needed anything to call and gave her sincerest of condolences and wished us the best of luck. This was a bittersweet day, this is for sure, we made our journey home and awaited the call back from the Dr office to see if we needed to be seen in his office for a follow-up or keep the appointment we had in 2 weeks.
When we pulled up to my parents house there were a lot of people and they were all there to meet and greet the little angel we had on board, my dad, again, greeted me at the gate and opened it so we could pull in the driveway and I have to say the family and friends waited patiently for me to unload the precious cargo. I got him out and made my way into the house, he was 2 weeks old, a preemie and he did NOT need to be exposed to multiple hands all at once, I felt like a warden an was warding them off as fast as they wanted to take a peek. We ended up in his bedroom where he had fallen asleep so I laid him in his crib, sent everyone else on their way and sat on the bed, I watched him sleep, I felt completely empty, no thoughts, no emotion, no ambition to even move. My girls were here and they came in the room and at by me, my mom then came back in as well as my aunt, we all stood in silence, it was a strange silence, one that should have been filled with joy and happiness, it was definitely a moment we all would never forget.
The phone rang and it was the Dr, he told us that we needed to be at VCH in Fresno at 9 am, he spoke with the leading infectious disease Dr at the hospital and he had shared some concerns and wanted to make sure David was completely without any traces of the Valley Fever. The Dr said there was a great possibility it was passed through the cord and we needed to determine if it was the viral or bacterial strain of the disease. I was staying the night with my parents tonight and only took this phone call as a precautionary one to ensure we had a healthy & happy baby boy.
My girls finally left, I sat on the couch and held this little bundle tight and could not stop staring at him, my parents went to bed and I soon followed, I slept with him by my side, on the bed, not letting go for the entire night, well, I knew I would be up every 2 hours for feeding anyway, right? David woke only 2 times during the night, making only a `peep` when he was hungry and slept the rest of the night like the angel he was!