there is a god

To my surprise {again} the sun rose and it was going to be a good day I had already decided. 
David woke up in a great mood and was hungry, this was always a good sign. The nurses came in for morning rounds and had orders to take out his I.V., I was able to bathe and dress him up cute, we were FREE, we were going home today, YIPPEE!!
I called my folks as well as my girls and told them the good news.  My folks came down and waited with us as we sat and sat and sat waiting for the dr to come in for a final check up, the girls would be waiting at home for me and said they would have dinner ready as well..sigh of relief, I was in need a little breaky poo. 

It was almost 1 p.m. when the dr came in to see us, WHY WHY was it always this late when your ready to be OUT and not the 6 a.m. rounds when you want to sleep?  none-the-less, we were going home, so was I grateful, YES, thank you!
We got a good bill of health for Mr David and a follow up appointment with the infectious disease dr in 2 weeks, not for good, just for now then we can most likely assume the monthly check-ups for the next 2 or so months I think when the regimen ends, as long as David stays on track.  We thanked him for ALL he has done for us and the care he has shown with David and our situation, we packed our bags and David got the famous "BIG RED WAGON" ride down to the car.  It was funny, all we past thought it was a wagon full of the bags and balloons and missed seeing this little peanut of barely 15 pounds and 5 months old laying there also, couldn't miss the big ole' brown eyes though if they wanted too!

I was glad when I arrived home, it had been 3 days too long to be away and the girls were very excited to see David awake, alert and greeting them with a HUGE smile!  They had dinner ready when I got home as promised, it was SO nice to sit with them at the table and have a normal conversation and some well needed laughs.  I cleaned the kitchen as they tended to David then I went upstairs to take a shower and unpack my hospital bag and that moment decided I would keep one packed "just in case" because if I did this my reasoning was I would NEVER need it again, right??
The shower felt so good, I swear I stayed in for almost 30 minutes and YES, I had to shed a tear or two, they seemed to flow in unison with the water, it was hard to stop them, it was like I was on auto pilot it was truly {still} my safe haven. 
I had a ton of laundry to do so I started a load or two before we all went to bed for the night, my oldest would be staying with me and this made my heart full as I drifted off to sleep this night with NO issues at all.

I placed David's bassinet in the girls room, they wanted him in there with them tonight, he had woken up once during the night for his feeding, I jumped up as I heard a whimper and then nothing else.  My daughter had grabbed him up and placed him in bed with her, I was worried she would roll over on his tiny little body but she assured me she would put him back in his bed when she was done feeding him.  I went to get the bottle ready and left her to the feeding duties and went back to bed myself.
I had a harder time falling back asleep but just because I was deep in thought of what was going to happen in the future, what was this all happening for, what was I supposed to be taking from all this, how was my future going to play out with this little boy, what will the relationship be like with his father and he??
I MUST get some more rest, I'm thinking in circles at this point and it is SO not making sense.  Good Night world and Good Night sis, I love and miss you terribly!!

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