testing 1..2..

I actually slept pretty good, David only woke up once for a feeding, our nurse came in and finished for me, changed him and then snuck back out of the room.  I was surprised when breakfast was brought in for me, I had declined the menu last night, our nurse had taken the liberty of ordering for me.  David was fussing and hungry but he could not eat anything this morning, he had to wait until after his series of tests this morning, it was gunna be a hard day at best.  David would be in and out of the room and I would not be able to go with him and there would be dr's in and out all day, god give me the strength!

I hadn't touched my food by the time they came for the tray, I let them take it, I was rocking David, I almost felt as if today was going to be the day when they told me I was going to lose him, that something was wrong and I had only a limited amount of time with him, I wanted to hold him till the last minute.  Our dr came in fairly early, he wanted to get started and he knew just how anxious we were as I sensed he was as well. David would be going for EKG's this morning then a CT Scan after that, the dr offered me to go but said there would also be little room in the testing area and they would get him in and out and back in my arms as soon as possible. I agreed to stay behind, I would shower and clean up the room a little and be right here when they returned, he half hugged and patted my shoulder and off he went and in came the "team" of specialist's who wheeled David away in his prison crib, I cried when the door shut and had to get in the shower in fear someone would hear me. 

My folks had called the room as well as my girl's, I told them he was gone and would not return for close to an hour, they would come down in the afternoon and the girl's when they were done with school and work.  I checked in with the nurses station and made sure they were still testing and took a walk to the cafeteria to get some coffee and a small snack, I was hungry now and fighting a bad headache.  I was able to sit outside for 15 minutes or so just for some fresh air then made my way back up to the room and as I rounded the corner I saw them at the nurses station checking him back into his room.  I was SO happy to see him, he was alseep and mildly sedated due to the heart tests they had preformed.  They got him all hooked back up to his monitors and I.V. pole and as quick as they came in, they were gone and it was again just him and I. They said I could feed him when he woke up if he wanted a bottle, I left him in the crib so he could rest and made some phone calls to assure my folks, girls, sister and his father he was back in the room and resting for now and I would have more information on the tests either tonight or tomorrow morning when the dr did his rounds, I was hoping for something tonight, as I knew they had a priority on all the results coming back.

David woke up at the same time my folks came by, my mom was wanting to hold and feed him, as anxious as I was I agreed, besides, I would have him all night.  David's father had also mentioned he was going to come down before he went to work and I prayed it was not when my folks were here, my dad had made it known he was not happy I called him each time we had been admitted, I let him rant and knew I was doing the right thing and for the right reasons.  It was late afternoon by now and my folks were ready to leave when David's father showed up, my dad made a very quick exit, my mom said a few kind words as she left. 
He stayed for almost 30 minutes and actually wanted to hold David, he had 'hinted' to the fact he would like to be alone and maybe I leave the room for a little bit, I told him I felt uncomfortable leaving as he had a lot of tests today and I would rather be able to watch him in case something happened, it wasn't entirely a "fib" but he bought it and was at least happy to be able to hold him. 
My girl's were on there way, the room had been busy all afternoon and part of the {early} night, I was emotionally exhausted and was looking forward to a quiet night with my girls. David woke up for one more feeding before the girls left so they were excited to feed and hold him, my oldest rocked him back to sleep and this made my heart very happy!  I missed them so much and felt like I was missing more and more of their day-to-day life as they became {amazing} young ladies.

They stayed for over 2 hours then they left as they had work and school the next day.  I called work and had a long, tearful talk with my close friend, now supervisor and broke down, I think it was a good release of anxiety, worry, fright and tension. I had NO trouble at all falling asleep tonight. 

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