the agony

A mere 10 hours later & we were home, my goodness it took forever to get here it seems.  It was almost 10 p.m. and the girls were at their dads so it was just David and I, well, me since David was asleep and didn't flinch when I took him to bed and settled him in.  I went for a long hot shower and some "stair" time before I went to bed, I knew as soon as I laid my head down he would be awake to eat, so I thought it better to just have some quiet time and wait for my little guy to beckon me for some food!
I went to check on him close to midnight and he was still OUT, had hardly moved his position at all, crap, what to do now, I'm getting sleepy waiting up for him, off to bed I decided and it was not until 7 a.m. when he woke up, happy as a clam, as always.  I guess he was just as worn out as we were from the trip.

I had to go to work tonight but would be `staying` home to catch up sleep and some laundry {wink}, my youngest would be home after school and I hoped my oldest would come by for dinner as well. It was nice to take one extra day :)
The girls were both here for dinner and David was in a great mood, they missed him and played with him until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. They laid him down on the couch and I talked with them about their great-aunt and her news, they were sad, this was unexpected to all of us.  She was the oldest of the 5 children, there were 4 other boys, one past away as an infant and the 3 others were alive and well.  She had 2 boys, the oldest was 7 years older than I was and the other was about a month younger than me, we were close to them growing up, always going camping and staying in Pismo when our grandparents, they took us all over there for many weekends, I have very fond memories of those trips I still hold close to my heart!

My oldest stayed the night tonight and my youngest went to bed early, I took this time to talk to my oldest daughter as it had been several months since she had left and we hadn't really talked much more about it, although she had been over often and even stayed some nights I missed her dearly. I asked her how she was doing, how school and her job were, she answered "great" and that she missed being here with David, I told her to come back home then, and she she said she was doing fine and didn't know if she could come back for good, it was the "situation", her sister being here all the time and the responsibility of David. This hit me {hard} in the gut, she was quick to say that it wasn't that we took him in and she was sorry she was not here for more hands on with him, it's just that she missed her aunt terribly and it was horrible to see him without thinking of her, we both started to cry.  I have to remember she was in the delivery room with her when she had David and the only pictures we have are because of her, I have to let her deal with her grief on her terms and if this decision helps her then I have to support it, I can't be selfish and take her choice personally even if it puts me in a bind, it's just what a mother does!!

My youngest daughter had taken David to bed so of course when we were ready for bed after a good cry my oldest asked if she could sleep with me, DUH! of course you can sweetheart, I loved the fact that my kids at this age still wanted to be next to me even if it meant I had to STILL rub their backs :)

We slept good and when David woke up at 6 a.m. I stayed up and fixed the girls breakfast before they were out the door, my oldest offered to take the youngest to school, nice surprise.  
I had First Five coming over this morning and I DEF had to back to work tonight, it was going to be a busy day.


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