9.30.2011

imagination OR obsession

….ok, SO, something’s you just can’t deny….I mean we first acknowledge then we recover, RIGHT?!?!

I have to wonder how can something SO little consume your last thought as your day ends, make you think about it, even crave it in your time of need! !

So small that it gets lost, I wake up in a panic and wonder what has happened, search to no avail, where did it go? Obsessed until I can get my hands on it again, reaching, searching and even with my eyes closed I can usually manage to find at least one of them.

They come in different colors and have to be replaced frequently; I have an extra reserve stash readily available at all times! I have to take them when I travel, even keeping them in several different rooms in the house. I can have just one but two is usually a requirement!!
If they are not on board by the time I fall asleep they are DEFINITELY in hand wrapped tightly or resting on my chest….

David will usually be my silent keeper and brings them to me when he finds them in his bed “mama, here is your ears to sleep”








I mean EVERYone has to wear ear-plugs when they fall asleep, R I G H T?!?!?!?!?!?

unconditional love it is.....

....a rough night at best, or morning?  only a few hours sleep from the time my head hit the pillow to the time I felt a peck on my cheek, and a whisper of G'Mooooorning mama in my ear and of course in HIS bed so as to not keep daddy darrow awake his last few hours of sleep.

we proceeded to have a little"us" time, chit-chat over our mickie dee's parfait's I got last night on my way home to surprise him this morning and then the normal barrage of questions;
"I have to go to school mama?"  Yes, David, so you can be smart {as he sings/spells P U R P L E} as the theme color/song yesterday at school....
"You have to go to work mama?"  Yes David, but later tonight, I have to make money for your 'prizes' remember
"Who gunna pick me up mama?" I will baby, as I remind him today is pizza day

as we pull into the parking lot and he sees the kids playing outside and as he tells me "Wook mama, they playing outside, they are asking "where is David at"....I smile big and sit for just a moment to look at his excitement....he then takes his seat belt off and climbs over the seat to grab his 'blankie' and tells me......

"Have a good day at work mom" I remind him, "OH BABY, MAMA IS GOING HOME TO GO BACK TO SLEEP" he then looks as me and says "have a good day sweeping mom, I don't want you GROUCHY {as we always joke} when you pick me up today, k?" I laugh and shake my finger back and forth, OK BABY NOOOOOOOOO G R O U C H Y today!! 

and he's GONE, runs off like I never existed....under my breath after a quick kiss on the forehead I whisper...HAVE A GREAT DAY DAVID..MoM LOVES YOU!!

9.28.2011

angels amoung US...

our morning ritual is just as amazing as the day that has been given to us...he climbs up in my bed, right next to me and kisses me, tells me "mama I love you berry much" I sleep in my bed like a good boy huh" Yes baby you did and I love you more as I hug him tight.

we lay there and cuddle for a few more minutes and he sits STRAIGHT up and says "dats me mom" right there" I ask him where as I look to my night stand.  He tells me "right there" I reply to him, oh yeah, the picture on the wall, that is all of us, me, you & daddy.  He says "NO MAMA, right there, with the wings, the tall one, that is me"  I ask him are you an angel?  He replies, "YEAH, I'm a good angel huh" I tell him, with broken words, YOU ARE AN ANGEL AND YOU ARE A VERY VERY GOOD ANGEL & MOMMY LOVES YOU SO MUCH!!

He simply looks at me and says "I like being an angel mama" is it time to get up yet? 
Off we go to the kitchen to make him the breakfast....  

Andrea bought me this angel the last time David was admitted to VCH for what we would "dub" his yearly admission.  coincidentally he has NOT been admitted since, so MAYBE, just maybe this is OUR guardian angel!!

9.19.2011

and it's OVER.....

freedom, sleeping in, relaxation, done, gone, bye-bye!!  back to reality and that thing that adds money to my checking account every two weeks, I think I vaguely remember but it is called a JOB!! 

vacation was nice, didn't have anything special planned, did a few little things, spent some much needed time with my little man, and dabbled in a little extra time with my husband, ya' know, just enough to remember what he looks like, sounds like, smells like....I sooo need a 'normal' job with normal hours, what would that EVEN be like?

I thought I was pretty settled in my career path, then came along David.  My girl's were older and soon out on their own as I was being trained and settled in and shortly after promoted at the police department.  I've never considered myself to be a morning person so my schedule of working nights and sleeping during the day worked well, so anywho, now maintaining a family and having to start over, completely over, I've come to realize I just can't do this shift work as he is growing up..I can only hope and pray at this point that there is something out there for this "old hen!!" 
I will not sacrifice or settle, that is something I lost a long time ago and will NOT befriend again.  I have a supportive husband and one who has made some sacrifice's along with me, but this I know and realize, I have to make a difference and a better {home} life for David.  He will need more attention than my girl's did or Daryl's boys did.  we both {have to} often remind one another....
WE GOT THIS!! 

so I took some time on this vacation to prepare a pretty darn good resume and will begin to put myself out there and see if I can get any bites...WISH ME LUCK...

9.17.2011

I can't believe....

we actually got to leave town, actually got to stay over night and actually had a GREAT time, well, till the ride home, and, uhhhh, I choose NOT to revisit THAT incident at this time, it is my right, right??

we took our leisure time, arrived at our destination, unloaded the truck, got some grub and forgot about reality, no cell service, no internet, no phone on your side, no messages coming through every 5 seconds, just fresh air, relaxation and a gorgeous view!!


I have, well I thought I had a good sense of direction, but for some reason when he is driving I lose it all and have had to be questioned on my "do you know where your going" directions...I blame it all on his driving, it sucks and makes me car sick!!  Yea Yea, is is all his fault, always is right?  It was just nice to able to have ANY interaction with him OTHER than the 5-10 minutes we usually get as we are literally passing in the hallway as one is coming and one is always going.

we drove up to Sonora to visit my sister and her family and upon arrival & greeting we gravitated outside to the deck/pool area.  the water was so NOT warm, the nights up there get to cool now to keep the water at a decent temperature BUT to a 5 year old it is "wet" and that is all that seemed to matter.


I stood and watched David tip-toe in the water for 30 minute or so then when Uncle Derek got in, he went full on body and was out a little after that "water cold mama!!"

we sat up top on the deck, the kids played, David found a "burr" patch, OK burr hill that he seemed to have rolled down after thinking he was a tight-rope walker for the circus on the stone wall above the patch, he bounced up as he hit the bottom like "ta-da I'm OK"....a few battle wounds, scraps and scratches later, we all decided we better for the sake of the rest of the property to go get a bite to eat!!

it was Family Night at the local Round Table pizza, "Krinkles" the clown was there and was face-painting and animal ballooning it for kids and adults alike, even got David to partake in some painting, but the ARM only mama!!
we had a GREAT dinner, yes, I said it, and YES we were at a small little Round Table pizza, but to see my sister, her husband as well as mine enjoy themselves over pizza, beer and good company was priceless to me.  WAY to often we are only together for holidays, birthday parties and at our ages, funeral's, PLEASE enough of them already, I'm plenty sure I've reached the quota for a long time to come! 

we didn't have any specific plans, we talked as the conversation flowed, we laughed when David pooped himself because he was having so much fun and the sliding door was only 5 steps {TOO far} away from the bathroom after  he had already ran up a flight of stairs, we weren't worried about interruption or even responsibilities, it was the most enjoyable time I have had in a very long time.



we got back home right at dusk, took a stroll of the property on the little dirt, gravel road no, really, it was....you could smell the pine tress, you could hear the toads and he crickets.  the wind was blowing, making just enough breeze to make you want to go put a sweater on, but you didn't dare want to waste a moment missing the sunset.  we thought we would be able to see the stars but instead cloud cover moved in and we were able to see a lightening show, it was a sight!

the next morning we got a bright and early start with the hustle and bustle of school and work, we packed and said our good-bye's till next time and took a ride into Jamestown where we ate a place on main street, MOTHER LODE Coffee Shop, I claimed to be a hole in the wall yet it looked like a main staple. we then walked down main street to let our food settle as we hit the road back home.


"mama, take our picture!!"  OK baby, say CHEESE!!