So it read.....

**2 year old post/draft** 
to read this prior to publishing it is a "thing" for sure {shoulder shrug} as well as picking up daily devotionals, again! HAPPY READING my friends...
 

"rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be consistent in prayer."

I guess it is fitting being that I am grasping onto what ever hope I can at this very moment, he and I had our first "riff" since he has been gone, nearly two full months now, so the only thing I know that is certain is that I have been extremely consistent in my prayers!
I have missed only but a couple of days in church and have been faithful with a devotional plan along with talking to God daily, most recently confessing all that I bare on my shoulders, I willingly give onto his....

Our expectations when we become derailed either move us forward into joy or they thrust us into worry and concern - Do I really want to believe that God is wanting us to learn a lesson from such trivial misunderstandings, I thought it was only super important, life critical lessons that he wanted us to learn and grow from, am I wrong? 
I believe I am .. how, I have no clue, I think that is all part of his grand plan as well! SO, I will continue to believe there is always a message that is bigger and better than the one I chose to receive during my derailment and instead of my immediate and sometimes "not so nice" reaction(s) I will make a conscious effort to give thought and purpose to such struggle(s). 

Downloading and being faithful in my daily readings have truly been a god send, no pun or innuendo intended - HONEST!! I have seemed to find (or they have been placed for my choosing) absolute perfect "plans" that have made this particular part of my journey exceptionally meaningful and has opened my eyes more than anything I can recall in a very, very long time.

Although I am saddened by the fact that in nearly two months I am going to bed without saying good night to my husband and our last conversation ended on a particularly bitter note, I take comfort in knowing that I have done what I can do and have made my mind and heart right with the derailment and I have no control over such circumstances to which I have been accused. To say we are living with a little bit of stress is a gross understatement! 
Good Night