I am secretly losing my dam mind!
I have an 18 year old that is in a completely selfish mode right now and as hard as it is, I have to let it pass, it truly is killing me inside!
I have a 21 year old that is now planning the wedding of her dreams and I feel like I am being forced to just let it happen and all I say is, in my opinion, is not taken with any merit. I KNOW I KNOW, this is HER day and I want nothing more for this amazing young woman, one that I gave life to, but it hurts to know you can't provide every last need for your children. They may say it is ok, and that they understand, but I think they will always remember such times!
I am in the "prime" of my life right now, I feel & look GREAT!! Yet Im starting all over again.
It is extremely bitter-sweet, Im convinced "No-One" comes close to understanding my daily thought/emotions!!
I see my life ahead SO rich & plentiful yet most of the time it is floating so high above me I can't reach it, the tearing sensation is more than I can bare most of the time!
"does he think your his mom?"
"BOTH your girl's are out of school and now adults" "He is just turning 3 years old now, WOW!"
"You are such a good auntie" does he call mommy/know your not his mommy?"
I know and I get that it is a courageous thing to do, most people say things and DO NOT even realize the impact it has/will have. I just wish things were different and people were not so ignorant, scared, selfish or judgemental!
I think Im done, for now anyway!