8.20.2011

to stay or to go...

it has got to be the most selfish act one can preform. it rips families & people apart and forces them to take blame for your actions, your decision to end it all when you think you are the only one who matters.

in one's mind that is contemplating such an act, they are not thinking of their loved one, their families and how they will be affected, they are taking blame for much more than any of us left behind will ever truly understand. they are making a decision, in their mind that TOTALLY justifies the act of suicide they are about to preform upon themselves.

it is a disease, I honestly believe this, they are ill and whether we knew and choose to turn our heads to it or had NO clue what-so-ever, it is a tragedy all the same. being on the front lines with a family member committing this act several years back, it took a long time to come to grips with the decision HE made and the family he left behind to pick up the pieces and move forward. he had only 1 possession in his wallet when they found him, my home phone number, I struggled with this for years, and came to the conclusion that he knew he could call anytime, any hour but simply choose not to, I have to respect that and take comfort in him being in a much better place, at least in his mind as he will forever live in my heart!!

RIP LW  ^j^
and never forgotten Anthony

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