doing the right thing?

Last day off, it is laundry and errand day, did I miss my day of rest?  sneaky little thing always seems to be hiding from me!
I need to start thinking about purging and packing, I know I will be all alone in this process, sigh, WHERE did all this crap come from anyway?

I had the opportunity to have a long talk with my bff later that night, he put a lot in perspective for me, he also offered to help me move and get me settled into my new place, it was an offer I could not refuse, I needed all the help I could get.
I went to bed this night counting my blessings, I often feel so very alone even in a room full of people!!

I woke up to David singing and talking to himself, he was, if I can say again, a very happy baby, very little bothered him at all, unless food ran short before HE was ready to be done.  I laid in bed as long as he let me, I often think he knew my schedule better than I did...
I walked over to the crib just as he was standing up and that smile seemed to have made the early hour much more acceptable.  We got up, got fed and then relaxed while I prepped the house and David for yet another work week, my daughter would be home right after work today, we would be able to have nice dinner before I had to scoot out. 

My daughter got home, finished her homework and actually had time to eat and visit before I had to leave.  My daughter asked if I had found a place to move to, I told her I had and I would be leaving at the end of the month..her response, look was not one of disappointment but one of sadness, this crushed me, made me angry, WHY was I having to deal with such a tragedy and new little, fragile life to make a difference and I felt like it was only making my daughters "sadder" and possibly even hateful towards me, I hoped & prayed this was never the case but it definitely hurt that bad!
Not much more was said after that, she tended to David who was a little fussier than normal this afternoon and I finished getting ready to leave.

My drive to work was a wet one, in my eyes anyway-how can one person feel like 2 completely different people at the same exact time??  I was excited to move closer to my folks, yet not back to the small town I grew up in, I was relieved the girl's would not be burdened anymore, they could have their freedom back and have a {somewhat} normal teen/early adult life that they deserved, what we had gained after my divorce and prior to David, which was only less then 1.5 at this point and be given the proper time to grieve & move forward in their lives, leaving me devastated that I was moving away to try and build a life I was completely uncertain of what lied ahead for us all...
Sometimes being an adult and {trying} to do the right thing just SUCKED!!

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