4.19.2012

the deal

As the days moved forward and we all settled  into our routines, routines that were pretty easily skewed from hour to hour, it was apparent that this was not the norm.  It was not fair that this had happened nor that this little boy was left without his mother, a mother who was so excited and proud to have accomplished so much in her life at this point!  I'm find it tough to move past this/these thoughts but easy at the same time as my schedule allows me NO time to think of anything other than what is happening at any given second.

My parents and I had a few meetings with our attorney and the prelim court date was near, this I was NOT looking forward to.  My mom was still a mess, my dad had a lot of anger and especially towards David's father and me, well, who even knew or cared at this point. 
I worked and slept when I could and maintained life as I now knew it and made the best of it with what hand I dealt myself.  My girls were soon back to their school & work schedules and I was busy keeping up with Davids Dr's appointments and making sure I didn't miss anything, I could not afford to, the price for failure was way too expensive!

It was here, the preliminary court date, I was scared to death and got no sleep, this should be very interesting.  I made my trip to Madera, dropped David off with a long time high school friend so she could watch him while we were in court and then met my parents for breakfast before we went to the court house.  Breakfast was more like damage control with my dad and my mom sat quiet and cried the whole time.  I was worried what would be presented and what "information" the father actually had and what the outcome would truly be.  I knew in my heart he would not gain custody, well not today anyway and I was certain I was not going to be placed under arrest for 'stealing' his child. 

We made our way over to the court house and walked into our assigned court room where the father was waiting with his attorney and quickly summoned me out of the room, my dad glared daggers at them, I appeased him and left the room to have a discussion.  I was greeted by the father an then his attorney spoke the remainder of the time.  I had one very very small interaction with the father prior to Davids birth and other then that knew nothing of him, well only the bad from my father and the relationship issues my sister divulged to me. The attorney proceeded to tell me they were dropping all charges and were willing to make a visitation schedule and would be willing to meet with me after court to make the appropriate arrangements, etc.  I thanked them, as I felt I should at this point, I was still a VERY neutral party in all this and had to make sure I was equal on all sides, I had to completely remove myself at this point from my grief and anger and make this a business deal, that sucked!

The judge called our names, we all approached the table sitting on opposite sides.  The judge read over the papers filled on both sides and immediately threw his out as there was false information alleged and gave my parents full custody of David as they were legally bound since they were next of kin due to the death of the mother and no said father listed on the birth certificate.  This was a small victory as we were then excused after our attorney advised we would be seeking full legal custody as well as full legal guardianship of the said minor. 
The judge had set another court date for final review later in December and immediate paternal DNA testing as well as mediation for all 4 of us. 

This was an emotional victory and one that was far from over, there were SO many more components and it has just begun.  We walked over to Family Courts and set our mediation appointment and set the appointment with Family Child Services for the DNA portion of the testing David would have to complete. 

I left heavy hearted and let my parents know I was going back home once I picked up David, I was not going to come by, I had nothing left in me today.

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