7.17.2012

is there any other way

Coffee was brewing and I put David in his chair, he loved his vibrating bouncy chair and the dancing fishies, he laughed and bounced and laughed some more, I LOVED the sound of his little laugh{s} thus proving, again, just how happy he was!

I had some laundry to catch up on and some house cleaning to do and hopefully sneak a little nap in before I had to go to work.  David's father had called and wanted to know if he could come by and drop off some formula, I had forgotten it was about that time again.  I told him it would be fine and that it would be much appreciated if he could also drop off a check as well, I was needing more diapers and supplies, he agreed and said he would be there right after lunch, I agreed since David's nap was closer to 10:30 and he woke up at lunchtime. 
I was not at the comfy level with him hanging around while David slept, I was just still feeling the water, I was not scared, just again knew NOTHING about this man and had only been given some 'bad ju-ju'.

David's father showed up right on cue, David was waking up, I let him sleep downstairs on the couch while I cleaned and did some laundry, David's father was happy to see him and came bearing formula, diapers and a small check.  I HATED this part of it and was SO not into asking for things, EVER!  We had agreed on $250 since that is what he was giving my sister, or what they had agreed upon after she moved out of his home. They tried to live together for 1 short, very short month when she was about 7 months along, needless to say she was soon back with our folks and he was buying baby furniture for their house and had agreed with her assistance that he would pay her $250 a month for support and supplies that the aide would not provide. 
The check was $100 short, I think he could tell by the look on my face, he immediately interjected "I bought some diapers, formula and food I know you will need" I mustered a reply, "thank you" and left it be, HOW could I not possibly argue this fact when I knew damn well I should have!!  I SO would have if it was my own child's father....sigh
David was sitting playing with his father on the floor as I stacked the case of formula, put the food away and took the diapers upstairs.  I rarely left them in the room alone but felt safe in my own home, I dared him to try ANYthing in my safe places.  I needed a few seconds to decompress, I wanted to yell to him, the formula is FREE, the food is $.25 a jar and 1 case of diapers is $24.99, but I did it in my head and became grateful realizing I only had 6 diapers left.  I self-talked that this was extra help and I was really NOT spending a lot out of my pocket at this point, all the services we received were free and/or no cost out of pocket to me...STILL, a deal is a deal!  I remember thinking as I walked back downstairs, is this an indication of what is to come?
He stayed nearly 45 minutes and said he would look forward to seeing us in 2 weeks, I thought to myself, your regular scheduled visit is this coming Saturday, but I had NO energy to say anything more and would just make note of this visit and mark my calendar for next Saturday, of course keeping the dates I/we had {originally} already agreed upon marked and just keep my records in order, 18years of notation, this will be one helluva Guinness record :)

On a positive note, I have to say that since it might not be, I will get no nap today before I go in, I will have to drive all the way to the farm to pick up my daughter and by the time we return I will need to fix dinner, shower and head to work.
I sat at the computer and notated the visit today and summarized the doctor's appointments/phone calls, etc then headed out the door, here we go, off and running, FULL speed ahead!

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