11.22.2010

confession

sooooo as you can tell, the book is slow going yet a chore that will take me sometime to get through mentally as well as physically.  It is something that I feel I owe to David.


I could not be more proud of him and the person he is becoming.  David is a happy soul, an old soul, a soul that has been sent to me so I can see that things needed to slow down, take a different path than where my life was leading me.  For this I do not question his existence, rather I'm left to ponder the process.


I have had to come to grips that I am raising my deceased sister's child, her first child, a boy and one she was looking so forward to raising to carry on our family name.  I am now facing the future with a disabled child, as David is now being treated for much more than his chronic Asthma and frequent bouts of pneumonia.  I am at odds with the fact that I have to make sure important decisions for someone who is so pure and so innocent, but I guess that is why I am here?!?!


In retrospect my life without David would be nothing at this point as he has changed me, my views and my entire existence.  So I will say a silent prayer for my aching heart and blow a kiss to heaven and hope it travels at light speeds.

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